because everything doesn't have to have a point

I was eating an orange today, and after the last slice had slid deliciously down my throat, I discovered one of these tiny little "bead" things still swimming around in my mouth. I pondered it a moment, how curious and exciting it was that something as large and plain as an orange should be made up of such exquisitely juicy little pieces. Then I decided to swallow it and think about something else. At the last instant it occurred to me that such a tiny pocket of juice, tucked away inside its own minute skin, must have been separately reserved because it tasted either very good or very bad. I determined to find out which it was. I swished it around in my mouth. I tried for several minutes to catch it in my front teeth and puncture it, and nearly hyperventilated before giving it up. At long last, the magnitude of force between my tongue and lower front teeth made it pop, but it didn't taste like anything.
I just thought you'd like to know.

Walking along....sun in my eyes. Singing a silly little song to myself, sometimes happy, sometimes sad. Fish around in jeans pocket....crumbled up crackers...stale. Check my compass....oops, going the wrong direction. What now?

This is the story of my life, and I fancy the general gist of most other Christians' lives as well. Twenty years ago I set out walking....well, no, that's not quite true. The first bit I spent mostly just lying around like a super-adorable blob of baby chub (yes, even I was cute once); after awhile I learned to crawl, and it wasn't until after that that I figured out this whole walking thing. But in a metaphorical sense, I've been trekking through this world for somewhat more than twenty years now, and I can see a sort of pattern emerging.

I start out making more or less of a beeline for the Celestial City. Sometimes the sun shines and the birds sing; other times it rains; every so often an inland tsunami nearly bowls me over. Whatever the case may be, after a certain amount of time I inevitably look up and find that, in the midst of my complacency or self-satisfaction or discontent or discouragement, I've wandered completely off the path and into the jungle. Thankfully, though I am unfaithful, my God is faithful, and He always brings me back. But I'm constantly re-routing. Perpetually discovering new sins and shortcomings, and rediscovering old ones I'd forgotten about or swept under the rug. Always being drawn, slowly but surely, away from my wretched, death-bound self, and into the likeness and glory of the Lord.

So here too, with this blog. I think it's high time to pull out the maps, re-examine the sailing directions, and chart a new course across the open sea, with the wind at our backs, the sun shining in the clear air, and a pistol in every....man's....wait a minute.

In any case, I'm shifting gears. In the past, this blog has ultimately, if subconsciously, served as little more than a showcase for my extremely irregular fits of dubious inspiration. I'd like it to be a bit more than that. It's still just a blog, but my idea is to make a more regular habit of writing on it, with the following objectives:

1. I hope that the musings and confessions of a very small pilgrim on her way to eternity may, in some small way, be used to glorify God, and perhaps to help others see Him a little more clearly. And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (2Cor.12:9)

2. It would also be nice if I could somehow learn, through this exercise, to force myself to write often and honestly, whether I particularly feel like it or not. This is said by many to be a beneficial practice, and I believe it.

So here I am--raw, uncivilized, and very, very small. But don't look at me. Look past me to my Savior, believe, and live.